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Chris

When I was in the fourth grade at Crescent City Elementary, my teacher escorted us to an assembly in the cafeteria. In order to fit us all in, the tables were all folded and pushed against the wall. In this assembly, there were students from other classes and grade levels. I loved looking around at all the unfamiliar faces. While waiting for things to get going, I hear this sound, “Psst..hey…psst.” I search for the source of sounds, and I see a cute, chubby little boy with dark hair. When he sees my recognition, and I realize that he is trying to get my attention, in front of everyone he asks me, “Will you be my girlfriend?” Well, he was cute enough, and seemed nice, and I was honored that someone chose me so I said yes to the boy I knew nothing about. I would later learn that he was a fifth grader, an older man. The scandal! His name was Chris, Chris Crawford, and after I accepted his offer, he asked for my phone number so that he could call me. After all, the only time I would be a...
Recent posts

Behind the Wire

  The first time I went to prison, I was more curious than afraid. Once corrections officers had ensured I wasn’t carrying anything on my person, I stayed in a holding area with others packed in like sardines, waiting for the all clear. No two doors were open at the same time. It was a slow and methodical process that reminded me of going through river locks as a child with my grandpa. Most prisoners are held in cells individually or in large pods, depending on the prison, but usually gen pop don’t just roam the halls freely. It is kind of like high school in that way.  There are a few trustees with special permissions or hall passes to go from one location to another to complete work duties. Oftentimes, any position other than corrections officer, or CO, is filled with prisoners, primarily to keep costs down. These positions are earned through good behavior and sought after to break up the monotony and boredom of a regular inmate’s prison day. When first entering the halls of...

What I Have Learned Thus Far

  I’ve lived 45 years on this earth, and this is what I have learned thus far: Buckle up buttercup. Reality is nothing like you imagined it to be. Life is full of disappointments.  According to Webster, disappointment is the “failure to meet expectations.” I’m sorry to break it to you, but your life will most likely not look anything like your childhood hopes and dreams. Your happiness can fluctuate depending on how much disappointment you experience and how much you experience at one time. Once you discover the real secret to happiness is to not have any expectations, your journey in life becomes learning how to tamp down expectations and just enjoy moments as they happen, grateful for opportunities that come your way, allowing room in your life for them to happen. We all have these plans of the career we want one day, to be important, make lots of money, start a family, have a great circle of friends, and all the stuff we need or want to make us happy. Then life happens, and...

Dead Bodies and Little Debbies

I don’t know why we picked the coldest night of the year or in many years to go camping, but we definitely did. A friendly neighbor wisely bunkering down in the camper next to our tent informed us when the sun finally broke the next morning that it had reached eighteen degrees Fahrenheit  at the coldest point before dawn where we were by the lake. It had all started so quaint. We were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and Manning had brought Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies, my favorite. What could possibly go wrong? The five of us descended on Lake Delancey one afternoon to go on a camping trip we had been discussing for some time. There were the three amigos, Jason Arnold (my husband at the time), Jason Manning, and Greg Walwik. Between high school and restocking at Winn-Dixie, these guys formed a friendship that covered thousands of miles in travel to visit each other as life took them their separate ways. There were two tag-alongs on the camping trip, one was me of course, and...

DMC

  Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna became close friends when they did a movie together called League of Their Own . The two were an unlikely pair to most people on the outside looking in, but not  for me. I knew they were in an exclusive club that I also belonged to. For that reason, I felt a kinship and sisterhood with these two strangers, two celebrities, that I had seemingly nothing in common with. I was initiated when I was just 7 years old to the club that no one wants to join.  There is only one way to become a member of the Dead Mothers Club. After my parents’ divorce, my mom and I moved in with Tony, her boyfriend and her sanctuary from my father’s abuse. At first, he showered her with affection and gifts and attention, things that she had been a craving for a long time from my father, who was too busy going through his own issues to be able to take care of her.  While Tony was not always good to my mother, he was always kind to me. For my sixth birthday he and my...

If Not for Guitar Shorty

Chadwick Boseman said that there would have not been a Black Panther if not for Denzel Washington. His life serendipitously intersected with Washington’s two decades ago when he was still a college student at Howard University. Boseman had been accepted to a summer acting program at Oxford, but he couldn’t afford the tuition to attend. Determined to help the talented student, Boseman’s teacher implored an actor she knew to help with paying the way for the future Panther and eight of his classmates to be able to pursue that incredible opportunity. Only upon returning home from the summer program did Boseman discover that his inspiration, Denzel Washington, had been his secret benefactor. After keeping this secret from the public for 20 years,  Boseman paid tribute to his idol at the American Film Institute in 2018, sharing that “there would never have been a Black Panther if not for Denzel Washington”, but Boseman wasn’t talking exclusively of his Oxford sponsorship; he was speaking...

Adulting

       For the past ten years, the term “adulting” has become increasingly popular and even become part of the Merriam-Webster dictionary, as many millennials seem to struggle with the difficult tasks of being a grown up. While I have my own struggles with life for health reasons, I was taught the basics of being an adult at home and in school. In fact, for most of us who became adults before Justin Bieber even existed, we took adulting classes in middle school, which they called “vocational education”. For 12 weeks each, we took Home Economics, Agriculture, and Business. The entire student population cycled through the courses during the year, and in these classes we learned some of the basics, with a little sugar on top.      I went to George C. Miller Middle School in Crescent City, Florida. The campus overlooks beautiful Crescent Lake, and it was always a treat to catch a glimpse of the glistening water in between classes. ...